I was listening to the Today Program this morning when I heard Lord Kinnock make a proposal that newspapers should be required by law to present an impartial and balanced account of the news.

What a great idea. In fact, what with there being a gap in the market after the sad demise of the News Of The World, I've decided to launch my own fair and balanced weekly periodical:

Helping First Time Buyers eh?

Dear Mr Osborne,

I see that you are planning a scheme to 'help' first time house buyers by lending them taxpayer's money so that they can 'afford' to buy an overpriced house. As it happens, I would like to buy my first house, and I would prefer it if you helped me by not using the taxes I pay to fill up the pockets of housing developers and mortgage lenders by keeping house prices ridiculously high.

In other words, stop using my taxes to keep me priced out, you fucking twat.

Yours Sincerely,

Angry Liberal